dead to the world

I think my body parts are starting to hate me.

Firstly, my hand (specifically my right) is getting very ‘creaky’. It hurts every now and then, and I’ve found a new way to ‘crack’ my hand; by pulling my right hand until I can hear a ‘pop’ sound. I know it don’t sound too good, but damn does it feel good

My knee occasionally has this locking thing to it, where like s small part of my knee ‘clicks’ when I walk. Feels kinda weird. I know I know, it sounds like a whole orchestra when my body starts hating me.

Weird body functions aside, I’m starting what I assume is going to be the first of several late nights dedicated to work. I’m seriously considering bringing up coffee to my room, but the idea doesn’t really seem feasible when no sugar and caffeine does me good at all. I’m like immune to sugar rushes man.

So okay, maybe a good ‘ole glass of water would do fine. And avoiding naps while doing midnight work does seem like a good tip too eh?

the key

It’s this period of struggling with projects that many of us students look for ways to cope with the stress. I’ve had my fair share of just staring at the news feed page of Facebook today, waiting for people to update about themselves.

It’s this period that always gets to me; to which I mean that I struggle badly with this period. It’s something about the need to juggle both projects and doing tutorials which lags back my motivation metre. I haven’t have had good experiences with this period in the past; staying up for a night without sleep to rush finish a project, doing the same thing the consecutive week. It’s quite a sanity-sapper.

It’s this period where loneliness starts to creep in a bit for me too. MSN has been kind to provide a few friends to talk to online, but at stretches I’m just slogging away at work while I wait to find some kind of human contact to remind myself that the voice in my head is not someone speaking to me, hohum.

I know I don’t speak of this much but I’m glad I’m a Catholic. Sometimes the chaos and randomness in our heads can and will get a bit overwhelming. At least I can turn to something, something to ground me in life and at least for a moment remind me that work is not everything. That when your priority is aligned correctly, everything falls into place.

And that’s how you stay sane everybody; remembering what you’re living for.

Not that anyone else knows better

As I always say, Sunday evening/nights are oddly peaceful. I’d say it’s like peering into the abyss, appreciating the drop for its spine-tingling depth, knowing it’s beauty and acknowledging it’s deadliness.

Yea, that’s my week ahead for you. Deadly.

So like I’m having 3-4 projects converging this few weeks, so it’s either I’m gonna be in the middle of them all or I’ll dance my way past all the nonsense projects usually give me. Lack of blog posting included.

Erm other than having a rather… rough saturday night, I thought this weekend wasn’t too shabby. Some like weekends, some don’t like ‘em (erm I’m sure there are a few) but whatever it is, it’s still time that we’re still breathing, living. I’m grateful for that much at least.

Now if I only knew what to do with it…

close your eyes and see the light

The only injury sustained from playing in the Youth Cup (soccer tournament in church) was a little abrasion from sliding on the artificial pitch. Just a little niggling injury.

You know how people have the Monday blues? Like how either on Sunday afternoon/night or on Monday people just feel out of funk. Like they’re missing a beat to their usual routine. Yea, I don’t get Monday blues but I sure do get the Saturday ones.

I don’t exactly know when it started bothering me but I find Saturdays very dreary now, it’’s like there’s nothing good on Saturday to do. So bleah.

Or maybe it’s just I’m tired from playing soccer, who knows.

The question

In the stillness of the night we drop our masks and shake off our practised movements.

We no longer be who the world demands we be.

Gently we ease back into our own skin, itching in areas where our public self differs.

Amidst familiar surroundings we bring out our true smile, eye-enhancing smiles.

We know the rhythms of the day and the movements of the nights, a routine we follow.

We try to convince ourselves we are happy, yet chaos bubbles within.

We ask not the important questions, but feed ourselves with irrelevant answers.

So heed not the answers of ‘It was a good day’ or ‘We had fun!’,

And instead ask yourself, ‘Have you found what you are looking for?’

humdinger

I’m smelling of oil, face probably layered with oil and feeling like oil(y). Blame the prata shop for that.

It seems like another good week has passed. It was stressful, packed but you know, life can’t be sedentary. At this moment now despite my current state of uncleanliness, I feel fulfilled. Very interesting for once

Got nothing much to blog about (at least publicly), so another thought to chew on. The best present to ever give someone? How about your time?

Rock bottom.

My threadless shirts finally arrived. At long last can I add it to my collection of AWESOME shirts. Wooo.

Erm fidgety day today. Had like only 2 hours of lessons but the day sure feels long. Amid all the excitement and nonsense that I did, I seriously am in need of some rest. Thus this crappy update.

True dat.

Because of my generous nature, yesterday was a practice in my ability to do work in the wee hours of the morning- 2am to be precise. Meaning to say I helped people with some stuff.

Today was a long day. Projects are really killing me slowly now. I’m certainly grateful that I don’t need to do many reports, but the next few weeks are gonna be jammed packed with presentations and project submissions. Less than a year left to no more poly…

And lastly, to quote a quote I saw on a friend’s msn nick, because I think it’s wonderful in its simplicity but beautiful in its inner depth: ‘All I need is you needing me.’

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Sleepy don’t cut it.

The first time in a while since I’ve watched a broadcasted tennis match, and it HAS to be the one where it’s 4 hours long.

Nonetheless, brilliant play by both guys though. Now all I am faced with is lesser sleep, who cares eh?