The feeling of tiredness is such a human one. We expand energy, we need to find ways to gather back that energy- either through food, or more importantly, rest.
Some kinds of tiredness though, is more long-term. Like those you feel when you open up your organiser and see that you are booked entirely the next few days. Or the kind where you see your to-do list and see rows of rows of things that needs to be done, emails to be sent out.
In that aspect, I’m really blown out of the water. Helping out with orientation this week coupled with this being the Holy Week and seeing out TOG is being kept busy with performances and council helping out with Easter on Sunday… I just see work sometimes, not people, not spiritual growth. I just see work to be done, sleep to be lost.
In all honesty, that is kinda chilling because when someone just do things for the sake of things, a little part of that person has died. I try to keep myself alive and human but sometimes being a robot and churning out cold heartless results ain’t too bad when it’s efficient. But it doesn’t feel ‘me’. The balance between quality and quantity is fragile I guess.
So anyway, my actual to-do list has me sending out emails to coordinate Easter, emails to remind people about things to do, things to record for voices… Work work work work work. Things that I can do, without much consideration for my soul. I just hope it doesn’t transfer over to work that actually needs my soul.
All ye who are weary…