Am I a forgiving person?
It’s a good question to ask, when often the world demands retribution and revenge to every slight a person might do to another. When a person betrays my trust- RESPOND WITH VENGEANCE. When a person disses me- RESPOND WITH VENGEANCE. A bit over the top… but same point nonetheless.
It’s true that we live in an unforgiving world, a world where prolonged empathy and understanding is not seen as a virtue but rather weakness. Forgiving one person once for lying is acceptable. Two times it’s still okay… five times it’s rare… ten and more and you’re a fool.
But is it foolish, really? I don’t blame people- we have been taught since young to defend ourselves. Don’t let the person who cut you once get close enough to cut you again. Physically… emotionally… Applies to both, don’t it?
So we learn not to love until it hurts… Ponder this though, as Mother Teresa once said:
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
The world tells us one thing, our upbringing tells us one thing; that is to shy away from hurt and betrayal. Love not those that cut us with their words or actions.
But I say to all, what good is it to love where it is easy to love? We love our friends because we know we would get back the same. But how beneficial is that? We just end up with the same thing; feeling good about friends we had no problems to begin with.
It is more of a challenge to face the hurt and humiliation and whatever negative emotion we would get to stand by those who have been less than a friend to us repeatedly. When we stand by these people through all the hurt and sadness that may be dealt by them, what we have left is a better understanding of that friend. If we can stand through the worst of a person, just for the sheer willpower to be there for him/her, what we have left is beautiful.
Because when we stand back and the darkness and shade of a friend’s personality is lifted, we see the person for whom he is. We can know that we have been through the worst of the person and from there… only good can come out of it.
So to all who are struggling in their friendships and relationships: persevere. Good things come to those who wait. If friendships can be struck down so fast, then surely it was never substantial to begin with. If relationships can be soured so easily, then surely it was based on a whim of an emotion.
For life is too short to be guarded. Open your heart and mind… and persevere.